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Of course, I volunteered to help set up the stage and I even scored by getting the right to be one of the people standing behind her during the speech.

The big day arrived and a small group of us were there to greet her as her car pulled up. Feeling daring, I opened the door for her and even offered my hand for her as she stepped out.

Imagine my delight when she took it; her warm, moist fingers wrapped around mine and I felt an unmistakable stirring in my lower body.

I blushed, hoping she could not see the physical reaction she had caused in me. When she got up to speak, she even turned and smiled at me! As she spoke, she shifted from foot to foot in her high heels, giving me an eyeful of her voluptuous posterior which was beautifully framed by a red skirt.

I had to keep my hands in front of my middle least my embarrassment show up on Youtube! Once the speech is over, a small group of us stayed behind to take down the stage while she shook hands with people in the crowd.

Just as we finished, the last person left and she asked if we were hungry. We all went to a nice restaurant just off of campus; there were five of us college guys and three members of her staff plus her.

Much to my delight, she chose to sit next to me! The food came and she leaned over me to reach for the salt. At the intoxicating smell of her perfume entered my nostrils she put her hand on my leg and squeezed!

I had to fight not to jump right out of my pants. No one saw because we were sitting in the corner booth, but she looked at me and smiled knowingly.

As we ate, her hand returned to my leg and started rubbing, slowly making its way up. Her campaign manager said that they were going to a bar next door for after dinner drinks, but my beautiful candidate told him that she was tired and would be returning to their hotel.

Turning to me, she asked if I would escort her on the three-block walk. Of course I said yes; I would do anything to spend more time with her.

I felt like I was walking on air as we made our way down to the Courtyard Marriott. We reached the door and I was sorry that my dream night was at an end, but then she asked me if I would like to come in.

Feeling very nervous, I did so and then she surprised me by throwing me up against the wall and kissing me passionately, her tongue deep in my mouth.

I had been with girls before; one in high school and a couple in college, but this was a woman! And wow, was I out of my depth.

Before I knew what was happening, she threw me on the bed and ripped my shirt open, popping several buttons in the process.

I reached for her red jacket, but she slapped my hands away, removing it herself and then going for my pants.

Soon she was on top of me, guiding my vote into her ballot box. Coming by bike seemed uncool. Wandering over nonchalantly, my mode of passage unexplained was much cooler.

I was drunk all the time, and not yet seventeen. Life was one giant dare I sometimes took, and other times crumbled in the face of.

Just as summer started to gear up, mom broke the bad news. To me, a meal like that, well it seemed like she was finally back to her senses.

We were going to get along just fine. Your father and I have decided to send you to work on a ranch in Texas this summer. I remember desperately trying to handle the information like an adult.

She even said so herself. That kind of thing dazzles only adults, not teenaged bathing beauties. But I managed to scramble out of the house before I said anything terrible.

The upside of it all was that my parents immediately relented on the string of curfews and punishments that had been issued in the past few months.

To spite them, I ran as wild as I could, rifled every purse and pocketbook and wallet attached to either of them. I interacted with them as little as possible, eating microwave dinners, skipping out before they came home from work.

There was a convenience store in between their houses, where Lake avenue met Falls road. A grassy area behind it. Laying in the grass watching the clouds blow across the sky as night descended, I hoped to have the same chance to do this again, with her, or someone like her, after school was over, and college finished, before any children came.

Just lollygag in the green grass, our imaginary fingers clutched each other the way only a teenager can envision his future self doing. And in those last moments of summer and freedom, drunk on cheap beer on the outskirts of the city my parents grew up in, I could scrounge up a bit of respect and grudging admiration for the two of them stranded permanently from their monumental love by disagreements that took the form of untruths and rabid tempers.

That is, just the way they intended me to remember them. And as Texas loomed in the forefront of my horizon, as each second wound down to an unknowable summer of endless hard work, I raided every medicine chest south of Ruxton hoping to blot out the revolting future in store for me.

Because I wanted to lay in the grass, I wanted to smoke cigarettes, I wanted to read French symbolist poetry -Life is the farce which everyone has to perform!

What I did not want to do was ride around on horses till my ass chapped, hang barbed wire fence line till my fingers and my palms blistered and bled.

My older brother was patching up his transcript in summer school. The focus that usually lay directly on my misbehavior had been eased.

So I blew through those last few days the way an unrepentant sinner scours the earth in the time leading up to Judgment Day.

But what was Judgment Day anyway? Nothing but a flimsy set of punishments fancified by power mad religious zealots.

I was a virgin, too. The radar detectors would keep us in money, the money would get us drugs. And the drugs would provide the kind of entertainment aimless youth is prone to seek.

I had never committed an actual felony up to that point. When I told Doug, he skipped past the philosophical leap, and went right into the actualities.

I took off my sneaker and slugged the windshield with it, and like that, it came away and Doug reached right in, and grabbed the radar detector.

Doug would sell them back to a Jeep dealership in Timonium. He knew I was headed out of town. Who cares?

She did. Two minutes in, and that was all she wrote. I love you, I love you, I love you, I said, but whatever she said in response is lost.

Texas differed so totally from back east I wilted. Not just from the heat. I wilted in the face of all the expectation, of the loss of my sure thing.

But I knew nothing of nuance, and when a strong emotion hit me, it had two places to go, love or hate. Having not yet learned the delicacy of the grudge fuck, lust was still filed under love.

Then, everything started happening in Spanish, and I charged back into the interior of my head to resurrect my high school Spanish classes.

But once memory returned, I spent my days furiously trying to fight off blisters on hand and foot. I wore gloves, a hat and button fly jeans because I knew it was important to look the part.

To do this, they utilized axe handles, baseball bats, tire thumpers, and cattle prods- real electronic prods that zapped a current into the steer when you touched it to the animal and pulled a trigger.

The cattle were so scared, so full of strange antibiotics, pain and electricity they shat all over you. The other hands were all Mexicans. And those Mexicans laughed a lot.

The work was hard, too hard sometimes, but they kept smiling. They were constantly moving, laterally, up and down, however you moved, they did it, too, only faster, and with a better economy of flow.

At night I ate with the family in charge of the operation. Ranching Baptists. We thanked God for his son, Jesus, the bounty of the world, for Mexico, our neighbor of the south, for the ice in the iced tea, fuck we thanked him for the leather in the boots on all of our feet.

They gave me a car for my own use. The man of the house pressed the keys into my hand in such a way, staring down the great beak of his nose, he wanted me to know he trusted me more than I did myself.

I knew that was bullshit. After eight p. I found a dirt road beer store that would sell to me. Then I found the spot on the ranch where I could sit and watch the mute indian train the horses occluded from sight of the main house, so I could suck down beer after beer.

Some nights the only other American cowhand would come and watch with me. Right when it got good, right when my personality began to leak out between jobs, after hibernating behind the blisters and the sore ass, and the absolute exhaustion, they told me they were sending me south to Zapata, a border town.

Each night I had written a letter to the girl. She even wrote back once or twice. I hung on the idea of her letters.

Moving south just about crushed me. The real stinger of it all came when I asked the Baptist Rancher to forward my mail. The border runs right through the place.

But we will send any of your mail back to your folks. Who cares about teenage self indulgence? Only self indulgent teenagers.

The ranch was filled with tumbleweeds. A few shacks with weathered wooden slats stuck in place with rusted nails.

My bed was a mattress roll on sagging springs. It creaked when you looked at it. A cowhand named Les was in charge. Got a couple of ponies over that way, he said, by way of explanation.

My heart sank even further, until I realized he was kidding. The two horses were full grown, adult sized animals. Nope, I said, and smiled when I pushed the hat back to let him see me grinning at him.

That won Les over. See what I mean? Ten days later we had fenced and posted and blasted the scrub out of that place so it resembled and honest to God workable cattle ranch.

It was a Friday. He drove his truck and I followed in the LTD. I slugged Les the same spot where my brother used to ding me with dead arms.

I pulled back to punch him again. He grabbed my fist in mid air. Then dropped it with a laugh. He held out his other palm to reveal a handful of different colored pills.

Take these. He handed me a beer. I remember holding up a bottle to my friend Chip. What the hell is Estrogen? He always answered the same way.

My whole life up to that point could be described as such. Take a handful, see what happens. I headed for the LTD. If the pills came on too strong, I wanted to at least be near a bed I was familiar with.

His friend giggled like a little boy. Out of nowhere came this leather skinned woman all of five feet tall. Shaped like a beer keg.

No, I told you guys I already lost my virginity. I got a girl. I walked away got in the car and tried to get away, but the keg shaped hooker hopped in before I could lock the doors.

All I could think of was that this was as far away from cool as you could get. Before I had the chance to say anything she went to work on my pants.

I tried to push her away, but she was a real pro. Hands, then lips, suction and all. She sat upright in her seat, and smiled at me.

Out you go, I said ever the gentleman, opening the door, and she looked at me bewilderedly, that same God damned head tilt. She got out, though, and I hit the gas and let the force of acceleration shut the door.

She smelled like stale sweat, menthol cigarettes and vinegary tequila. The whole car smelled like that. A few days later, Les and I had finished up on the ranch.

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Much to my delight, she chose to sit next to me! The food came and she leaned over me to reach for the salt. At the intoxicating smell of her perfume entered my nostrils she put her hand on my leg and squeezed!

I had to fight not to jump right out of my pants. No one saw because we were sitting in the corner booth, but she looked at me and smiled knowingly.

As we ate, her hand returned to my leg and started rubbing, slowly making its way up. Her campaign manager said that they were going to a bar next door for after dinner drinks, but my beautiful candidate told him that she was tired and would be returning to their hotel.

Turning to me, she asked if I would escort her on the three-block walk. Of course I said yes; I would do anything to spend more time with her.

I felt like I was walking on air as we made our way down to the Courtyard Marriott. We reached the door and I was sorry that my dream night was at an end, but then she asked me if I would like to come in.

Feeling very nervous, I did so and then she surprised me by throwing me up against the wall and kissing me passionately, her tongue deep in my mouth.

I had been with girls before; one in high school and a couple in college, but this was a woman! And wow, was I out of my depth.

Before I knew what was happening, she threw me on the bed and ripped my shirt open, popping several buttons in the process. I reached for her red jacket, but she slapped my hands away, removing it herself and then going for my pants.

Soon she was on top of me, guiding my vote into her ballot box. She rocked my world for fifteen glorious minutes before the polls closed and I won in a landslide.

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I was off work yesterday and the wildest thing happened. I was at the grocery store had gone through the check out line and was walking past the express line.

As I am standing there the same woman comes up to me and we have the following conversation. Keep in mind her voice sounds very nervous yet anxious.

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Me: You should know I am married. Woman: Oh you look so young. So are we going to go somewhere, I really want to go out with you, your very good looking.

Me: Are you married? Woman: I'm going through a divorce.

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